June 21, 2024

By Marcus W.

Grown-up Rule 23: 

Do not eat candy.

Official Reason:

It’s bad for your health

The Truth:

Parents don’t let kids eat candy not because it is bad for their health, but because it can make parents forget how to say no. 

Thousands of years ago, candy was invented by Egyptians and kept a close secret from kids. Only the royalty and rich families were allowed to have these delicious treats. In fact, people under 18 years old did not even know what it was! At age 18, they would get introduced to candy because the charming effect only works for children. The candy in question were in jars stored in a private room in the middle of woods, which were always guarded by 4 beasts. They were big and strong, and looked like a lion-dragon mix. Nearly all of the kids didn’t even know where the room was. When the grown-ups go to eat some candy, the kids think that the grown-ups just simply left the house during the day for an unclear reason.

A few centuries later, on a chilly summer night, when the guards of the candy room were chatting amongst themselves, a curious young child couldn’t resist the allure of what lay within and slipped in through the shadows. He stole some candy and sneaked back out. Back home, he wondered about what he had taken. He tried to scratch them on the wall, break them, toss them, and at last, tried to lick one of them. All of a sudden, a surge of deliciousness fell over him. The taste was so sweet and yummy that he wanted to eat all of them.

Suddenly, he felt very energetic, and wanted to have a pillow fight with his siblings. His parents did not want him to, but the requests felt so soothing and somehow, they said yes. As time passed, tThese requests started happening more and more frequently, and even when the requests were sort of ridiculous, the responses were always yes. The parents started to question why they had said yes to a ridiculous request. One day, the parents stumbled upon a piece of candy on the floor. It was from that moment, they pieced together what had happened, and banned kids from eating candy.

Apparently, this magic happens when sugar enters the children’s body and causes mental reactions, causing them to suddenly make requests, which sound so sweet that grown-ups can’t say no to. Every time, after eating candy, the words coming from the kid’s mouth always sound super sweet, which parents couldn’t resist but to say yes.

Besides, have you ever wondered why Halloween is right before Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s, and Easter? Because after kids eat halloween candy, they make all sorts of crazy requests, resulting in an array of celebration and gifts! Apparently, the Egyptians knew what they were doing, and grown-ups kept the secret going and told children that candy is bad for health.